Friday, January 26, 2018

A New Year, A New Focus.


.2018. The sound of it is scary. The ugly truth of that statement is the fact that the years are flying by and everyone is getting older. Every morning I look in the mirror and I find a new wrinkle. Even though we are getting older, every January 1 brings an opportunity to change. This is a time for new beginnings, a rejuvenated hope, and endless possibilities to grow as a person. It gives you a chance to become whoever you want to be. But as we change and evolve, new obstacles will arise. If we don’t adapt to the change, we will continue to live our life on replay as time passes us by. For some, change is inevitable. As we change we must shift our focus from who we were to who we will become.

George Lucas said, “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” I believe this statement is very true, but our focus and reality changes as we age. Many times, our focus of what we want to do and who we want to become is blurred by distractions. Other times our focus must shift in order to take on new responsibilities. As we move into this New Year, ask yourself, what is your focus in 2018? Will I continue to focus on the distractions that don’t allow me to grow, or will I focus on what will allow me to grow? This year my focus will shift to a new reality. Fatherhood.

For those of you who read my last article, “What Are You Running for?” I revealed the courage and strength my wife has as we embark on our IVF journey. In 2018, our IVF journey will slowly come to an end as a new light will shine. I’m no spring chicken, and the thought of fatherhood scares me. The fear of losing freedom and my wanderlust personality will slowly fade as we inch closer and closer to adding a member to our family. Am I ready for fatherhood? I don’t know, but is anyone ever ready for a child? I don’t know that either.

Everyone tells me children are a blessing, and at times I have a hard time believing them. The thought of dirty diapers, the excessive crying, the screaming, the additional financial cost and the
added responsibility is a very real reality coming my way. But, if I focus on the negative, it will determine my reality. I can focus on the negative or choose to focus on the positive to determine my reality of what fatherhood is. Fatherhood is much more than the ugly truth of unwarranted diaper changes and screaming. It’s about a new selfless focus of responsibility with unconditional love.

At the end of 2018, the definition of what fatherhood means to me will change. I can only assume that fatherhood will require me to be comfortable with being a hero to someone (next blog) while also being respectful of the power of what being a hero entails. Being a father does have one advantage over being a mom. Stress-induced gray hair on a dad is actually viewed as a prestige rite of passage. For now, I’ll focus on the reality that future gray hair from fatherhood will make me appear very wise and distinguished.